Kathryn - Kat - Allen (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} katallen) wrote,@ 2006-08-29 02:07:00 |
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Public Apologies Are Overdue.
http://pnh.livejournal.com/25131.ht
http://www.edrants.com/?p=4188
http://cristalia.livejournal.com/11
I've posted a similar comment elsewhere... but I'm going to repeat it because what I'm reading makes me rather angry. And, while I'd prefer to have a little more information about what happened... that such information isn't available after this long is in itself bad news.
It wasn't/isn't entirely up to Connie Willis to do *something* about this.
That she should have slugged him, or slapped him, or... is drifting into fantasy because that fantasy is a comfort.
Here's the thing -- Connie Willis should not have behaved any differently.
But everyone else should have.
Being grabbed is a shock. I don't know if it was also painful in this case -- breasts can be rather sensitive areas -- but I know that mentally it's can be an incredible feeling of disbelief and invasion and done in front of other people it's...
No one should have to know what it's like to look round and see people looking bemused, or amused, and not doing a bloody thing to help.
No one should have to realise that the few seconds in which violent defensive reactions would have been unquestionably reasonable have ticked past while you were...
No one should have to wonder whether, since no one was the slightest bit interested in intervening, they'll see whatever subsequent action you might take as inappropriate. Judge you. Condemn you for provoking the assault, or making trouble, or being the kind of woman who gets herself groped, or smiling the wrong way, or being too flirtatious, or being too cold, or not being someone else who wouldn't have got into trouble at all because they'd have done something differently...
And there's no way to undo what's happened.
But it wasn't up to Connie Willis to have done anything differently, or to do anything now.
It was up to the other people in that room.
It was up to the event organisers.
It is up to the wider SFF community.
When Mr Ellison took it upon himself to commit an assault in front of a roomful of people he made them witness to that assault. He forced on them the choice of whether to speak out or be seen to condone his actions and so made them party to what he did.
That he apparently believes the community *will* condone his actions is a damn insult to the community. Either an accusation of cowardice, or an assumption that they secretly approve.
Whichever... it's almost as incredible an insult as the one he offered Connie Willis (and as he appears to offer others with unfailing regularity).
The SFF community can try and live with and live down the guilt and shame... or else it needs to grow some balls, stop acting like geeks with a bully in the room, and demand that he make an unreserved public apology to Connie Willis... and to the entire audience... and to the wider community.
NOW.
Then the rest of the audience and the convention's organisers can hand in their apologies for not having taken more immediate action.
Because, while I can understand they were shocked... and the psychology involved... and that I may well have sat there wishing the ground would open up and swallow me... that was Saturday night and this is Monday... It's not a good sign that I'm learning about this from the odd con report as an unresolved incident.
It is unacceptable behaviour.
And it is unacceptable that the SFF community should be seen to condone such behaviour.
[If Mr Ellison's followers want to plead the 'dirty old man' get-out-of-jail-free card... would they please make sure he takes his medication and isn't allowed out on his own? Because his unamusing eccentricities are wandering into places where he could, and should, end up talking to a policeman. People who claim to care about him might consider whether that's in his best interests]
http://pnh.livejournal.com/25131.ht
http://www.edrants.com/?p=4188
http://cristalia.livejournal.com/11
I've posted a similar comment elsewhere... but I'm going to repeat it because what I'm reading makes me rather angry. And, while I'd prefer to have a little more information about what happened... that such information isn't available after this long is in itself bad news.
It wasn't/isn't entirely up to Connie Willis to do *something* about this.
That she should have slugged him, or slapped him, or... is drifting into fantasy because that fantasy is a comfort.
Here's the thing -- Connie Willis should not have behaved any differently.
But everyone else should have.
Being grabbed is a shock. I don't know if it was also painful in this case -- breasts can be rather sensitive areas -- but I know that mentally it's can be an incredible feeling of disbelief and invasion and done in front of other people it's...
No one should have to know what it's like to look round and see people looking bemused, or amused, and not doing a bloody thing to help.
No one should have to realise that the few seconds in which violent defensive reactions would have been unquestionably reasonable have ticked past while you were...
No one should have to wonder whether, since no one was the slightest bit interested in intervening, they'll see whatever subsequent action you might take as inappropriate. Judge you. Condemn you for provoking the assault, or making trouble, or being the kind of woman who gets herself groped, or smiling the wrong way, or being too flirtatious, or being too cold, or not being someone else who wouldn't have got into trouble at all because they'd have done something differently...
And there's no way to undo what's happened.
But it wasn't up to Connie Willis to have done anything differently, or to do anything now.
It was up to the other people in that room.
It was up to the event organisers.
It is up to the wider SFF community.
When Mr Ellison took it upon himself to commit an assault in front of a roomful of people he made them witness to that assault. He forced on them the choice of whether to speak out or be seen to condone his actions and so made them party to what he did.
That he apparently believes the community *will* condone his actions is a damn insult to the community. Either an accusation of cowardice, or an assumption that they secretly approve.
Whichever... it's almost as incredible an insult as the one he offered Connie Willis (and as he appears to offer others with unfailing regularity).
The SFF community can try and live with and live down the guilt and shame... or else it needs to grow some balls, stop acting like geeks with a bully in the room, and demand that he make an unreserved public apology to Connie Willis... and to the entire audience... and to the wider community.
NOW.
Then the rest of the audience and the convention's organisers can hand in their apologies for not having taken more immediate action.
Because, while I can understand they were shocked... and the psychology involved... and that I may well have sat there wishing the ground would open up and swallow me... that was Saturday night and this is Monday... It's not a good sign that I'm learning about this from the odd con report as an unresolved incident.
It is unacceptable behaviour.
And it is unacceptable that the SFF community should be seen to condone such behaviour.
[If Mr Ellison's followers want to plead the 'dirty old man' get-out-of-jail-free card... would they please make sure he takes his medication and isn't allowed out on his own? Because his unamusing eccentricities are wandering into places where he could, and should, end up talking to a policeman. People who claim to care about him might consider whether that's in his best interests]
