-- Insert something witty --

So, got up, got dressed, got a bit of back pain, then a bit of spasm... walked it off and got dressed to go food shopping... another spasm... hung round home a teensy bit for it to get better... another worse spasm... and shortly thereafter a spasm that took my breath away. Pretty literally. I couldn't breathe and it wasn't getting better so I gasped to resident brother and mother to 999. Breathing eased a tiny bit before the ambulance got there but I was hyperventillating -- my first ever hit of entenox helped a bunch too. So off to A&E (or whatever it is now) and triage nurse, wait, doctor part one, wait, doctor part two, and then he brought in an ultrasound machine and after running it a couple of times went to get his senior who also checked... And whether it's connected to the back pain or not (they were non-commital about pretty much everything) there's a mass in my abdomen. About ten cm by fifteen. The admissions nurse turned up then... and I balked. He got the doctor back. He wanted to keep me in for tests and a CT scan -- but I was already cold and uncomfortable (yes also in a great deal of pain but pain I know -- as long as it's not robbing me of breath pain I can handle okay). I explained. They were troubled -- apparantly they can no longer order scans for outpatients -- the new system means they can order tests for in-patients, or else a GP has to order them for me. This being problematic as my GP surgery is closed now till Monday morning... but I really didn't think I could cope with instant hospitalisation (and the chances of resident brother or parent being able to get me so much as a nightie and my gum guard would have been next to none so further problems pretty much inevitable)

[At this point they tried to get my brother's opinion on my staying, he did his Switzerland routine and then announced that 'I've seen her with her lupus bad and she'd be an impossible patient' HUH??? WTF??? -- Doctor and admissions nurse look at him... and decide he's not going to be helpful.]

The doctor gave in, the admissions nurse tried a little longer but I explained that the level of pain I was in with the painkillers working -- he cut in and said it looked like 'excruciating' -- was a level I could deal with. A night in hospital would mean much worse.

Anyhow, they said I could go home -- it was against advice and they would take no responsibilty -- I should come back in immediately if the pain increased or I felt dizzy, or there's bleeding or whatever... and if the pain is really bad I have their permission to call 999 again! :) I have painkillers (which I notice are not advised for people with lupus which is probably why I've not been offered them before :P -- the one pill I've had helped a bunch though and I will keep trying NHS Direct to see if taking more would be a bad thing)

As I left the hospital I broke into a fit of teeth-chattering shivers, so went home and had a nice hot bath to get my core temp back up. My back hurts quite a lot. I'm worried to all hell about what the mystery mass is (it isn't on my uterus or bladder). The situation at home has not been great of late but at least here I have quiet, good distractions, heating and hot water for baths, and a reasonably comfy bed. Monday morning I will have to call the doctor and try and persuade the receptionist that this is an emergency.

And then cross my fingers that the mystery mass has vanished. Or is just... something that doesn't need inpatient treatment or surgery or... whatever.

[One of the most recent hiccups in domestic harmony has been my brothers wanting to replace the sofa with individual -- swivel -- armchairs. And I pointed out that it would mean there'd be no way to make a bed in the sitting room anymore, no place for frex mother to be close to a toilet without there being stairs between. I think possibly it's tragic rather than ironic that today resident brother cut the old sofa in bits and... now there's the possibility that *I'll* need a bed downstairs and close to a toilet.]

I guess I should pack an emergency bag for if I have to rush off to the hospital over the weekend.

I am feeling a good deal better than I was. It just hurts, it's not 'OMG I can't breathe' pain.

Anyhow -- if I vanish from the internets this weekend -- that'll be what got me. Not the rook or a grue.